Wednesday, July 9, 2008

iFrustration


Back in 2006 several relatives went in on a Christmas gift they knew I wanted, a video iPod. It's difficult to say if this was my favorite Christmas gift ever since "favorite" is subjective as one's tastes change over time. If I could take into consideration childhood excitement and adjust for the inflation of a gift's awesomeness, my favorite favorite was probably the Star Wars Hoth playset that Santa delivered in 1981.

Without a doubt, however, this iPod is the one Christmas gift -- really the one material possession in my life -- from which I get the most use. Whether it's around our place doing chores, walking Dana, or riding the train, I'm almost constantly plugged in. I'm really lucky that Brooke doesn't get on my case about it even when I shut the thing off but absent-mindedly leave the earphones in while we hold a conversation. It's the force of habit for someone who is always listening to recordings of The Howard Stern show or else finally catching up on a cancelled TV series (I recently finished
The Wire and currently digging The Larry Sanders Show).

Out of respect for this device that delivers so much aural pleasure, I handle the iPod gently and almost always keep it in a protective case. That said, you'll understand why I was so upset Monday when the headphone jack suddenly went silent in the right channel. I tried several pairs of headphones but none of them worked unless I applied pressure to the plug. It was heartbreaking.

As I suspected, this iPod has been out of it's warranty for some time. I made an appointment at the Michigan Avenue Apple Store's "Genius Bar" of iPod consultants, but the best they could offer me was a $50 discount off a new unit (as a chum recently warned me, don't buy products "from a company that calls their $12 an hour employees 'geniuses.'"). I looked on the Internet and found several do-it-yourself websites and instructional videos on how to repair this common problem, but I'm fairly certain that the moment I crack open the case is the moment I become the proud owner of a sleek-looking paperweight.

The situation looked bleak. It seemed like this iPod was on it's way to the glue factory until, in a moment of epiphany that rivals the first monolith appearance in
2001, it occurred to me that I could rig a rubber band around part of the aforementioned protective case and give the headphone jack the constant pressure it needed! Five minutes and two broken rubber bands later I was in business and, more importantly, in stereo. It was beautiful. Besides saving $150 not purchasing a new iPod, I defeated corporate planned obsolescence with a common office supply. I'm confident that Steve Jobs will feel the sting of my ingenuity even as he reaps additional billions from the third generation iPhone released tomorrow.

Everyone should rest easy that I'm not missing a "Yeah!" in the refrain from Zeppelin's "Ramble On". But if by any chance Santa Claus is a reader of this blog ... I bet the 32GB iPod Touch will sell for less than $200 by December. And a good-condition Hoth Playset is less than $50 on eBay.

iMjustsayin.

4 comments:

Patrick said...

My video iPod just crapped out as well and then"geniuses" weren't able to help me either. I like Apple as a company well enough, but the whole Apple Store experience was just so...I dunno...precious, I guess that it turned me off.

Didn't stop me from buying a new one, though.

Corry said...

"Testify, my brutha"..
as my Maddie would say. The "geniuses" told me my Ipod's board was fried from trying to plug it in.. to more than one computer system, which makes no sense to me. But what do I know.. I can still get mine to work..but can't add or delete anything.. as no computer will recognize it. Did you hear that.. NO COMPUTER CAN RECOGNIZE MY IPOD!!! It's sort of like.. it's invisible .. or..traveling incognito or something. Computers and my Ipod were once good friends .. but now??.. my Ipod is forgotten about just like a red headed stepchild. I think my Ipod feels shunned by the Apple people.. just cast aside, as American's do to its' elderly. It's hurtful actually.

My cell phone is on it's last leg... and although I was at the AT&T store today, where they have released the new Iphone, I refuse to buy it on principal. When I needed them, they threw their hands up in the air, jutted out one hip along with a shoulder shrug, and a condescending look.. basically saying... "you're screwed", but for $200.00 or so... they would treat me like a real customer again.

Just like you though, John... I'm hoping that if I'm a real good girl.. Santa.. nah, who am I kidding, I'm not going to be good.. and Santa has stopped coming to my house. (I said "to".. not at!).. maybe next Mother's Day.. or a birthday....

Love you,
thanks for sharing..
me

albaugh said...

I once killed a man with a staple remover.

Favorite Aunt Nancy & Uncle Kevin said...

John, you should go to the "Uncle Kevin School of Technology" and just pitch it over the deck. That is, of course, after you have said many bad swear words for the last 20 minutes.
I'm glad that you thought of the rubber bands. When in doubt, just use old technology. I hear that duct tape also works well, but then what do I know? - I'm only female.
I've also heard you sing "Mustang Sally" and I ask you, "who needs an iPod anyway??