X-patriate

Brooke and I enjoyed a delightful road trip to Cincinnati and Louisville this past weekend. It was a long overdue visit with some friends from Xavier, nearly all of whom had houses and children I'd only seen in photos.

Maybe this is the same with most people, but my levels of comfort and expectations are adjustable for hanging with different circles of friends. Not in any subjective measurement of whose company I enjoy more, just variable degrees of familiarity.

In Chicago nearly all of my close friends came through being involved with improv over the last 8 years. When we get together there's often a constant pressure to be "on," but not out of any competitive posturing. On the contrary, it's the selfish satisfaction of getting laughs from people whose intelligence and talent we all genuinely respect.

With the college pals, however, it's different ... there's almost no intelligence or talent involved. Just kidding. Really, it's just that I feel a permission to (for lack of a better phrase that doesn't sound like the title of a "Mister Rogers" song) be myself around those guys than with any other social circle.

Most of us met because we shared the same wing of a dorm during freshman year. It's strange to think that such strong friendships were conceived by some random room assignments of some Residence Life employee at some Jesuit school in the Midwest, but that's how it happened for us. Our different backgrounds and personalities turned out to be a great fit for the exciting, confusing, sometimes terrifying years meant to bridge adolescence and adulthood ... and for that I am very grateful.

It's no surprise that such constant interaction during that time gave our friendships such a strong foundation. Still, it's nice to be reminded during those increasingly rare occasions when we can all get together. Even if our most frequent form of contact is a ball-busting email thread or quick voice mail to recommend a movie, it's enough to ensure that the next time we convene will be a seamless extension of the previous outing. Despite the addition of girlfriends and wives and houses and kids, I expect we'll stay in touch for the long haul ... and even beyond that, we know our pal Chuck is reserving us a few barstools upstairs somewhere.

Difficult as it is to believe, my college mates have been friends almost longer than we haven't. A kid born on our first day of college is getting his driver's license this year. Watch out for that kid. It won't be long before he's running around like a maniac leaving autographed bottles of cheap wine all around campus. Trust me.